Movies we like , show who we rally are deep down ....

There  are very few movies , which leave claw marks on your inner self ,in some scens they gut you inside out , and then in some they leave you similing . 

But then even amongst those movies there are few which will stick to your cocnious and remain with you for a lifetime. The reason for that is what I realized today. The reason is quite simple and plausible , these are the movies where you relate to the protagonist or a parallel character the most. 

Here is my list of these movies not in any particular order. 

1. Hazarron Khwahishein aisi 

2. Ek Haseena thi

3. Holiday 

4. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. 

5. 

ISB wait is killing me

Bitterness and Lies

Have you ever felt
Like someone stole your happiness
And wondered when you gave them the right
And then why at all in the first place.
If your heart was yours
Would it be broken at all?
If the dreams were yours
Would you let them be bared for all?
Piece by piece, your peace taken away.
Sleepless nights spent trying to keep the demons away
Loss and doom, loom large
The sight of the horizon now lost, now found.
Fumbling along the path,
There's darkness all around
Even the sun backs off and says
I'm not the one you need right now
Sometimes you have to fight some battles alone
Sometimes all you have is you
Sometimes the only one you can be proud of is yourself
Look up at the sky and wonder how
One individual in the scheme of it all
Could have so much power
Wonder when you gave it to them and how
Wonder if it's all worth it somehow.
Looking for reasons and finding none
A lonely struggle is life
Echoing loudly in your ears
Searching for something, forever walking
Oh I must sit down, I must find a field
High and low I search
But the sun avoids me
Damp seeps into my bone
Slowly but doggedly.
Two times the trouble, two times the pain
Two times the fog, two times the rain.
I wait alone, wait for someone to come
A warm hand through the clouds
A warm body to hold.
Expectations alone, I clasp to my throat
Still walking alone, powerless
Looking for a place I can call home.

Found on a blog...........not written by me

Love is painful

I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your friends ... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that she'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.

And then one day , you suddenly bump into her in a place completely unexpected , all the pain and humiliation and insignificance comes back to you , in one single moment , you undo whatever you had done with years of conscious efforts..

Oh , those wild things

I’m stepping out of the weeds
amongst those wild things –
I’m planting myself in firm soil
turning my head towards the sun
allowing rain to wash over my face
so I can grow as tall as the sky.

Oh, how I love those wild things
that travel on the wind
settle on the harshest grounds
and multiply like flies.

I’d love to be a wild thing
carefree on the wind
but wild things are blown away
they never put down roots
never grow as tall as trees
never reach the sky.

I’ve hid amongst those wild things
and still managed to grow
so it’s time to leave the field of weeds
time for seeds to sow
for if I can grow amongst the weeds
imagine how much further I can go.

I’m planting myself in firm soil
turning my head towards the sun
allowing rain to wash over my face
so I can grow as tall as the sky.

Why Ghajini made me realise that i am not an Aamir fan?

My roommate kamal is a die heart Srk fan , so whenever we are sweeping channels on TV and even a single Srk shot comes up , he jumps from his seat and everything else goes into hibernate mode , he just gets glued to it.

On the retrospect I always proclaimed myself as an Aamir fan , but it never occurred to me that i should jump out of my seat and just stay there to watch the movie that i have seen so many times before. (andaaz apna apna is an exception) . So i always used to wonder that me despite being an aamir fan and despite liking all his movies , why
doesn't that "sudden urge to jump up" comes to me. Maybe i am a lesser fan of aamir then kamal is of srk, but i could never accept it.

And then came Ghajini which helped me find all the answers.

So we went to watch ghajini on the saturday , all the while i refrainedmyself from reading the reviews or joining the discussions of themovie as for an aamir movie i waanna be a judge only by myself. After waiting for 2 hrs we got the tickets and we finally went in.Now comes what went thru my mind while watching it. All the whilei was watching the moving i was trying to , wanting to like it as it was an aamir movie and as kamal was seated right next to me. The movie kept us locked to the seats for all 3hrs but i never got to like the movie, neither the south style stunts , neither the aamir's hysteria, nor the songs ,nor the eight pack ebss , nothing could impressed me. And the suddenly like aamir's hysteria and realizations it all suddenly dawned on me in one single moment of revelation.

I don't like aamir , i like his movies, the message that his movies contain, the story of his movies , the typical treatment of his movies, but if u wanna remove all that and spice up aamir and serve it to us, sorry I am not an aamir fan to gulp down anything that is aamir.
And in that single moment i also realized why kamal gets those springs under, on seeing SRK shots.His movies never contain any message ,any story , any content , whatever is there is drama and that drama can be experinced in only those shots , hence u have to have to watch those shots. aamir movies u have to watch them pateintly from the start to the last to be able to appreciate it. U wont gets kicks from singular shots like a tequilla , but u will get high after the entire movie like a smooth wine or champaine.

So all an all i got a tequilla shot in the packaging and under the name of champaine and i feel cheated to this day about it.

PS: Kamal liked the movie very much , and is considering a change of loyalty ;).

Me an insomniac....

---------------------------------
In the arms of deep sleep, not awake
Wandering in search, me an insomniac.

Many a questions ,I have asked myself
MY innerself did make a try
In this very world of pleasures
I did ever think who am I ?

I became unconscious almost black
Fighting to come out, me an insomniac.

There are many things to watch
On many ocassions, I put my life to test
To test my deep inside inner strength
I will survive or not as the rest.

Somewhere I failed but somewhere me on the track
Understanding the rules , me an insomniac.

For the survival in this world
What are the things one need to possess
I am not armed with all these things
when I go to pick, thorn bites with roses.

Just I crawl for life like the snail
Lingering to live, me an insomniac.

Love is what one need to survive
But do anyone get the real one?
I am not destined to get the love
For me God has not made anyone.

Lonely I am with this worldly pleasures
Searching for one, me an insomniac.

Not only me but everyone in this world
Is deprived of the peace of the soul
I and they are fighting to survive
Not satisfied in spite of getting the whole.

Satisfaction comes with peace , one should take
living like me , all are insomniacs.

Protect ur dreams

You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period.

courage

The seed cannot know what is going to happen, the seed has never known the flower. And the seed cannot even believe that he has the potentiality to become a beautiful flower. Long is the journey, and it is always safer not to go on that journey because unknown is the path, nothing is guaranteed.

Nothing can be guaranteed. Thousand and one are the hazards of the journey, many are the pitfalls - and the seed is secure, hidden inside a hard core. But the seed tries, it makes an effort; it drops the hard shell which is its security, it starts moving. Immediately the fight starts: the struggle with the soil, with the stones, with the rocks. And the seed was very hard and the sprout will be very, very soft and dangers will be many.

There was no danger for the seed, the seed could have survived for millennia, but for the sprout many are the dangers. But the sprout starts towards the unknown, towards the sun, towards the source of light, not knowing where, not knowing why. Great is the cross to be carried, but a dream possesses the seed and the seed moves.

The same is the path for man. It is arduous. Much courage will be needed.

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh

When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must - but don't you quit
Life is queer with its twists and turns
As everyone of us sometimes learns

And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out
Don't give up, though the pace seems slow
You might succeed with another blow

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem worst, That you MUST NOT QUIT!